Dear Son...

Dear son,

You asked if I mind if you play some games on your PlayStation. I said, "I don't care." The truth is, I do care. When I say, "I don't care" what I mean is "I'm not concerned with whether or not you play video games right now. I am concerned with whether or not it brings you happiness."

Just as I spent a lot of time working on the skill of not apologizing for things I have no reason to apologize for, and just as I've worked at learning to not say yes to every little thing just to please others, I'm going to work on learning to be more precise when speaking to you. Instead of "I don't care", I'm going to work hard at telling you what I really mean.

When I hear someone say, "I don't care", even if I know that they don't mean any harm, I sometimes internalize the message, "I don't care about you." I know that is most likely not the speaker's intent, but I'm human. Sometimes that is the message I hear in the words "I don't care."

So, I'm going to be more careful in my speech from now on.

Instead of "I don't care", you'll hear:

• Go ahead. Playing video games sounds fun right now.
• Sure you can have the last cookie. I bet it will taste great!
• Yes, you can stay up an hour later. I know you'll still manage to get up on time.
• I love you bunches!

Love,
Mom